Faith and Me

Issues of faith, belief and religion are usually controvetial and emotive. And they are usually the cause for trouble and intolerance among people. For some reason, people see themselves as agents of their particular faith.

I do not believe in the commercialisation of religion, nor do I see myself as an agent of whatever my belief system happen to be.

I was raised in an Afrikan and Christian context, every black person born after 1948 has had to be associated with church. Actually, my parents leaned more on the Christian teachings than they did Afrikan. As a result, I was expected to be at church every Sunday. So did every member of my family.

Our lives changed in 1987 when my elder sister suddenly became critically ill. Being Christians, my parents sought medical help for her at the best specialists they could find in the Free State province. None was able to help. Until finally these doctors just resolved to put her in hospital. She passed away soon after release. She was only 16 years old.

Only after this experience were my parents conscious of their responsibilities to customs and tradition. It is here that I got my glimpse of what is possible in life. Whether we like it or not, we are who we are. Dreams are crucial and play an important part in our lives. I have always been the problem child at home through dreams, ke ne ke hlotjhwa ke ditoro. Everybody knew night time meant sleepless nights for them as I would transcend into my usual dreams/visions, which scared me to death and would always cry as a result. These instantly stopped the day my parents began observing their traditional responsibilities.

Whatever many Afrikan people might tell you regarding faith, they remain faithful objects of tradition. It is usually these people who give us problems when they pass on as people are not exactly sure what rites must be performed for them. It is these people who demand passage rites when they have since passed on. They claim great Christian faith while alive, only to bother us after death for passage rites. Why not just make life easy for everyone, be what you are.

When I was doing standard nine, in 1992, I was to make a choice in my life. The church expected me to choose whether I was Christian or Afrikan. A very easy decision for me based on my individual experiences. I told them outright that I am who I am and if the church had a problem with that, it is their problem not mine. That was the last time I set foot in a church.

I am Afrikan by birth, heritage and practice. I feel strongly of who I am, but I will never sell any religion over the other. We all have a right to practice what we believe in, provided it does not impact negatively on others. I am truly greatful to both my parents for having relented and done what was supposed to be done. They had their passage rites performed when they grew up, and it was time for mine to be done. I have watched in horror as some parents vehemently refuse to perform rites for their children, despite the fact that they have had theirs performed! And so the poor kids are left with problems that are not of their doing. Bona ke bosoto ka nnete batswadi, mme o tsebe hore le wena le tla o tjhabela ka le leng la matsatsi.

Today, as I continue to have my dreams/visions, I am acutely aware of the dangers of ignoring or denying people their natural right. Many problems and conflicts of this world could be avoided if people we tolerant of others. I may not be of the same religion as you are, but we all are human beings. If anything, that must be the overriding factor.

I believe in the creator, whatever you may call him. I pay my homage to my ancestors. Respect for the living elders. Respect for all other living organisms. Exactly in that order. I have listened in shame many times a converted Afrikan claiming that we pray ancestors. Lesson: we pay homage to ancestors, only our ancestors.

This is why you will find a lot of reference to me being"ngwana wa hlooho ya badimo." It has real meaning, it is not just being poetic!

Members of my family continue to be part Afrikan part Christian. I am Afrikan, period. Ha ke ya jaka nna, ke ngwana Mosotho.

It is in this context that I say Kgotso, pula le nala.

Camagu. Lesedi.

Note: It is very difficult being umXhosa/Mosotho. These words have contextual meaning and I must always provide proper translations for the meaning to be appropriate. My mother ke Motaung while my father nguMkwayi. Camagu is meaningful to my partenal family while Lesedi is to martenal family! Especially so now that umama is late.